Let Your Faith Be Bigger Than Your Fear


So much happens in just one year.  In the past calendar year of coffees and beers; sunrises and sunsets, I fell in love, discovered creativity, and found my truest life.  If all that happens in just one year, what adventures wait for me in the next one?

“Where will you be in a year?” I asked my girlfriends last night, washing down a fish taco with a gulp of sangria, and each of us shed light on our dreams.  We’ve been through the ringer together, 14 years of friendship sees all sorts of things – like house destroying fires and divorces, piles of break ups and teary phone calls.  Where life will lead the hands of my girlfriends and I is impossible to say.  But at the heart of that mystery is the sweetest part of our stories.  Life shows you a terrifying beauty in it’s possibilities – in the promise of the people you’ll be, the conversations you’ll hear, and the places you’ll go.

Life doesn’t look like a rom-com or the inside of a yoga studio.  It’s not supposed to, but no one cuts the hospital bracelet off your chubby little wrist saying, “Life isn’t all namaste, and rainbows, and butterflies!  It’s also FML, and smishsmortions.”  Life is like Steel Magnolias, Julia Roberts is sitting pretty, and then, bam: she’s in a coma.  Who doesn’t pore over the details of their lives wondering if they’re living well enough?  Each of us share that pain.  But without that rain, there are no rainbows.

Like sparks.  Those immediate attractions and their attendant heart flutters.  Lingering eye contact you never forget, the kind that throws you into the lead of an Audrey Hepburn movie.  Those moments remind you that someone, someday will think you’re the best thing in the world.  You’ll first dance with someone at your wedding one day!  Life is most beautiful in the potentialities of “one day.”

In the Wizard of Oz, when the Tin Man asked for his heart, the Wizard said, “My good man, why would you want a heart?  Hearts will never be practical until they’re unbreakable.”

And I, too, sometimes, wish I could ask the Wizard for more courage, brains, or heart.  I pray for those things, and as kooky as it may sound, I think something hears me.  But if we weren’t breakable, like the Wizard says, life wouldn’t be worth it.  Without the dark, the light would lose it’s luster.

I’m writing this story about this surfer who was paralyzed in a high speed car accident at 20 years-old.  The doctors told him he would never walk again or breathe on his own.  Now, he can stand (which is a big deal) with a little help from his fiancee, and he knelt down on one knee to propose to her.  They are doing a long engagement so Barney can work for another few years on his biggest goal: dancing at their wedding.  Barney reminds me that maybe it’s high time I stopped wishing for things I didn’t have, and thought about the things I do.  His courage shows me anything is possible, and life is nothing but right now.

What a fun adventure, isn’t it?  How lucky we are to be here.  40% of our happiness is under our control, and I think my goals now are to focus on having faith, and seeing life for what it really is.  Miraculous.

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